Tag: Self-Love

The Other Side of Joy by April Joy Bowden

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Publisher/Date:  AuthorHouse, May 2012
Genre(s): Poetry, Romance
Pages: 100
Website:  http://www.apriljoybowden.com

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Since elementary school, April Joy Bowden has nurtured her love of poetry. It was her release, her connection to the world, her first love.

Bowden’s long-time courtship with verses birthed THE OTHER SIDE OF JOY, a moving work of poems about the emotions and passions manifested by love.

The North Carolina resident and full-time photographer breaks her book into four sections: joy, pain, intimacy and ecstasy. With each, she supplies the rules, and the words she utilizes to describe each facet are truthful and familiar. It’s evident she’s lived it.

The glass remains shattered on the floor
Life’s little remainder that this was the last time the Storm would walk through my door
The broken pieces of my soul, my life, my heart
A subtle hint, a blatant call that we are truly apart
No time, no reason
To mend, fix or repair
Four long years to love, to laugh, to care

What’s also interesting about Joy is the storytelling found in her poems. Bowden is vivid in her depiction of desire.

I awake prior to the sunrise
As my eyes open
Behold the beautiful caramel kissed woman who lay beside me
In the moonlight
Her bosom glistens
And every curve has a story to tell
A story that because I’ve listened
I know so well

In a small amount of pages, Bowden says and expresses a lot in The Other Side of Joy. You can also check out Bowden’s co-authored memoir, High: On Love & Addiction, revealing the ordeals in loving a woman consumed by drugs, which is just as genuine and heartfelt as Joy.

Reviewed August 2012

30 Day Notice by Kai Mann

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Publisher/Date:  Scriblical Vibez Publishing, Dec. 2011
Genre:  Contemporary Fiction
Pages:  216
Website:  http://www.kai-mann.com

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Sometimes, the ending of a relationship is telling. It reveals truths about the woman you were in love with, things that make you wonder if you really knew her.

And a breakup pushes you to reevaluate your life and purpose, much like main character Kori Maitland, the heroine of 30 DAY NOTICE by author Kai Mann.

When her relationship of five years disintegrates, it leaves Kori broken. Though she’s given a 30 day notice from her love, Kori never thought Layla would end it, despite the hurdles and dysfunction that occurred during. Layla did what she had to do for herself, but Kori can’t seem to muster the same self-worth to pull herself out of the heartbreak.

It paralyzes her. During the 30 days, Kori begins to examine her entire life to figure out what got her to this downward path. At the same time, she moves back to Detroit, her old stomping grounds where she runs into people from her past – some who uplift her, others who take advantage of her spirit.

In truth, her life has been no crystal stair. In her current situation, disturbances once dead resurface. The ghosts of leaving her marriage and children behind to be her authentic self haunt her.

Every setback – and there are several – devastates her core. Being used, being discarded, being alone. It’s all there.

Yet Kori is a fighter. And she knows God has a plan for her.

That’s the crux of 30 Day Notice. Although the writing could use more showing than telling, the novel is direct and honest, as you sympathize with Kori; we’ve all been there in some form or fashion. This is a great story for lesbians dealing with separation from their families or finding themselves at a crossroads in life.

Reviewed June 2012

If You Love Me, Come by Claudia Moss

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Publisher/Date:  Mariposa Publications, July 2011
Genre(s):  Romance, Mature Lesbians, Self-Love, Straight Books with Lesbian Characters
Pages:  376
Website:  http://www.claudiamoss.com

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Following your heart is one thing; listening to spirits is divine in IF YOU LOVE ME, COME, the lovely novel by Claudia Moss.

Spirits are what led Freenonia Roberts to the Techwood Home projects one March night, nearly striking a boy named Mookie with her gray Mercedes, and sends her on a different path than she ever imagined. The owner of a thriving bookstore, Free’s life seemed enviable, with a small circle of friends and book club members, a doting mother and a head chef boyfriend. The night she meets Mookie’s sometime baby-sitter, Miz Too-Sweet, it begins a new relationship that only the spirits could align.

Seeing it as her personal mission, Free brings the Atlanta housing project an experience they wouldn’t forget, while Miz Too-Sweet spins life stories that provide the young woman, and, eventually, those around her, light in darkness. Free contends with whether she made the right decision to leave her boyfriend, J.T., even with his demanding ways. Rhonda, her baby sister, covets Free’s storied existence and doesn’t think her own is as fulfilling as a teacher, mother and wife. Sharmayne, Free’s best friend, leaves her dreadful marriage to Vince behind, shedding her closeted sexuality. Pinky, Mookie’s mother, attempts to find love through her three baby daddies, but nothing could cure the longing for the woman who abandoned her after childbirth.

All four women have crosses that seem too much to overcome. And all four discover, through spirits sometimes unknown, that love is the answer.

If You Love Me, Come is a beautiful book. I savored every page, where the story shifted from various points of view, as well as the Southern wisdom within its pages. It reminded me of one of my favorite books, Mama Day by Gloria Naylor.

Mostly though, I was enamored by the many examples it showed of what love truly is.

Reviewed January 2012

Mental Silhouette by Renair Amin

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Publisher/Date:  Dodi Press, May 2011
Genre: Poetry
Pages:  82
Website:  http://www.renairamin.com

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Renair Amin’s MENTAL SILHOUETTE comes in many shades of love, pain, anger, and finally, light.

Divided into four colorful sections, the poems found in Silhouette read like a diary of Amin’s innermost feelings and opinions – as an author, spoken word artist and minister.

First is the Red Shadows section, featuring poems about the splendor of love.

My wish is that I will always love you
Even when faces have changed
And presence is no more
That we will revert back to memories of joy and bliss

The darkness emerges in Amin’s Blue Shadows and Black Shadows, including powerful verses about life’s disappointments in people and society. The aches are palpable.

I feel like I am drowning beneath the sound of thunder
You have no clue what it is like to be me
There are times when things swallow me
Times when the gallows be hanging me

THE DEVIL WILL NOT BREAK ME

Ending on the best note, the glow of White Shadows is the brightest. Amin offers the hope and peace she’s found within spirituality. These poems seem her most personal.

As I lie down before you
Penetrate my soul because I
Know what I want
But tell me what I need
Saturate me with unfound knowledge
Humble me into you because I am proud
Strengthen me because I’m weak

In Mental Silhouette, Amin shares her journey through her work, her jewels that allow her to release her experiences and put them into an effort that is moving, to say the least.

Reviewed January 2012

Be the Sun Again by Teryn

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Publisher/Date:  LM Inc., Nov. 2009
Genre(s):  Coming of Age, Self-Love
Pages:  324
Website(s):  http://www.bethesunagain.com, http://www.lmwrites.com

Rating: ★★★½☆ 

Where there is love, there is pain, says a Spanish proverb, and that’s the best way to sum up BE THE SUN AGAIN.

It is the story of Cicely, a girl who begins her life damaged by neglect from an unfeeling mother and absent father. She also bears the weight of her attraction to girls and an attachment to self-inflicted pain. Cicely’s only salve is praying, hoping God would remove her from the horrible situation.

In the meanwhile, Cecily finds Brenda, a girl who saves her by simply appearing on her doorstep. Their love of God unites them, and Cecily believes she’s found someone to live for. She and Brenda begin a young love affair, but soon addictions end their first pangs of love.

From there, Cecily flows from woman to woman, using love as a way to nurse her wounds. From the one-night stand with Alicia to Dawn, who showed what love could accomplish, and to the countless women who in some way, commiserated with Cecily’s afflictions. Through these relationships, the cutting becomes a deeper injury than medicine could cure, but she still manages to hold onto God.

After every breakup, God reveals to her what she should take from them. That, I believe, is the message of Be the Sun Again – relying on Him to help show you the way. It took Cecily loving many to finally love herself, and women who read Sun should learn from her. Being a victim is no way to live; finding your purpose is really what God intended.

Reviewed February 2011

The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin

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Publisher/Date:  Scribner, Feb. 2010
Genre(s):  Coming of Age, Lesbian Real Life
Pages:  261
Website:  http://www.staceyannchin.com

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Staceyann Chin – writer, prolific poet, political activist and purveyor of knowing your pussy – never had life easy. Growing up in Jamaica without a father and being abandoned by her mother almost promised her future would end up a tragic story. Yet, out the rubble of her childhood grew the unwavering spirit that turned her into the courageous woman you see on stage belting out her poems with such fervor.

In THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE, the reader gets to see the upbringing that birthed an artist. After being brought into the world Christmas Day, she is left behind with her brother, Delano, in the care of her grandmother. There, in the town of Lottery, Staceyann’s inquisitive and highly imaginative mind got her into adventures in school and at home, and allowed her to fill in the gaps of her mother’s whereabouts and her father’s identity. There, she also blossomed thanks to her grandmother’s nurturing, despite longing for her mother’s return.

When her mother does come back for them, it was clear to the nine-year-old that her mother is unfit to raise two young children. The siblings were quickly separated when their mother sent Delano to his father and left Staceyann with her auntie in an area called Paradise. What she experienced is anything but. The crowded, run down house of horrors was Staceyann’s nightmare. Abusive hands, harsh rules and unbearable conditions plagued her, but also helped her to protect and save herself.

From there, Staceyann’s quest for stability led to the discovery of her sexuality. After finally freeing from her auntie, she can be without the fear of punishment. She flourished at school, and later college, where she fell in love with a girl. Unafraid, Staceyann made this pronouncement to her classmates in her usual vociferous fashion. In Jamaica. Where violent homophobia runs rampant. But that’s of no matter to Staceyann Chin. She’s who she is, and makes no apologies.

That’s the heart of This Side of Paradise. While the seeds of neglect were planted with her mother’s disappearance, Staceyann cultivated this angst into the fruit of hope and fortitude. It helped that she had a wicked sense of humor and quick wits to match. Paradise is hard to swallow at times. Knowing she’s survived is the all the happy ending you need.

Reviewed August 2010

What Goes Around Comes Back Around by C. D. Kirven (Feb. 2009 Pick of the Month)

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Publisher/Date:  Outskirts Press, Nov. 2008
Genre(s):  Coming of Age, Coming Out, Identity, Self-Love
Pages:  224
Website:  http://www.cdkirven.com

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

Karmic retribution allows the universe to make things happen the way the world intended. Yet we still have some control over our destiny, to shape the future based on our experiences and goals. C. D. Kirven’s debut novel, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND, builds on this premise as we follow the coming of age of Kingsley Ross.

As the novel begins, Kingsley can be best described as passive, a 14-year-old girl who believes her grandmother’s words of what goes around comes around. She and her best friend, Tanya, spend their days doing typical teenage mischief, which returns to bite her in the ass. When it comes to getting what she wants, Kingsley doesn’t aggressively pursue her desires, and by adulthood, she’s living with glimmers of regrets.

One decision she laments is not allowing herself to fall in love. Uncomfortable with her blossoming lesbian tendencies, Kingsley fails to pursue a relationship with a woman she meets through a set-up, the drop-dead gorgeous Emery, who has the swagger to make Kingsley swoon despite her trepidation of being with a woman. They spend a glorious night together, leaving Kingsley more confused than ever. When Kingsley sees her months later – with another woman – it devastates her that she never told Emery how she felt. She let her fears prevent her from the love she could have had.

Seeing Emery moving on with her life, Kinsley vows to take charge of her own, experiencing everything the world has to offer. It helps her to see things clearly, to see that she was living by other’s standards – her family, society – instead of her own.

“I realized that all this time I had been thinking that I was no one on my own but everything with someone else. This was a lie that became my way of life. I am everything now…”

Nominated for a Lambda Literary Award, What Goes Around Comes Back Around captures a woman’s passage to herself. Through Kirven’s writing, it’s refreshing to see Kingsley grow from her antics as a teenager to a woman of her own. The transformation, described in colorful detail, is engrossing on many levels: Kingsley becoming an adult, accepting her sexuality, and discovering herself. Kirven allows you to take the ride with her character, and while a little bumpy, it leads to a place of self-fulfillment and love.

Reviewed February 2009

Re:Building Sasha by Renee Bess

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Publisher/Date:  Regal Crest, Nov. 2008
Genre(s):  Romance, Drama, Mature Lesbians
Pages:  268
Website:  http://www.reneebess.com

Rating: ★★★★☆ 

When love is new, it’s passionate, exciting and full of promise; the days are sweeter, the sex is abundant. When love goes sour, the hope of happily ever after evaporates, leaving an empty shell of what could have been.

This is the predicament of Sasha Lewis, the loyal protagonist of Renee Bess’ third novel, RE:BUILDING SASHA. At first captivated by the fiery nature of her lover, Lee Simpson, Sasha finds her four-year relationship becoming combustible. Lee is a jealous, controlling lover who berates Sasha to the point of insanity. The abuse and neglect at Lee’s hands wounds Sasha, yet makes her try harder to accommodate Lee’s extreme mood swings.

The mistreatment has also made Sasha push everyone out of her life, including lifelong friends. The only area it doesn’t affect is her work at Whittingham Builders, her sanctuary from Lee’s wrath. It’s where Sasha takes pride in being the manager of a successful construction firm, overseeing the building of houses to completion. One such project involves Avery Sloan, an attractive new client Sasha’s company takes on, rehabbing a group home for the non-profit Avery operates.

It’s not Sasha and Avery’s first encounter, previously meeting by chance on a business flight. Now paired on a professional level, the two are drawn together, but that’s where it ends for Sasha. Though there’s an attraction to Avery, Sasha remains devoted to Lee – and her hesitancy may cost her the chance to experience love without fear of what her partner may do next.

Bess is in fine form with Re:Building Sasha, a multi-dimensional story with well-drawn characters. Sasha and Avery’s romance is smoldering, burning into something that could be deeper and satisfying. What’s compelling about Re:Building is Sasha’s pain felt through Bess’ superb writing, where you both hurt and root for her.

Bottom line: Bess shows you the rebuilding of woman ready for genuine love.

Reviewed February 2009

A Deeper Love by Shonia L. Brown

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Publisher/Date:  Writer’s Club Press, Sept. 2002
Genre(s):  Romance, Self-Love
Pages:  216
Website:  http://www.nghosibooks.com

Rating: ★★★★★ 

Completely spellbinding, A DEEPER LOVE is the thoughtful, affectionate tale of Angel written by debut author Shonia L. Brown. The introspective novel will move you from beginning to end.

Angel is a recently-dumped woman whose girlfriend, Val, left her for a white woman. Feeling down, she heads to a local lesbian club to drown her sorrows. Ironically she meets Kim, a friendly white girl who manages to drag her to another club, there Angel meets Paula. Beautiful and voluptuous, Paula helps Angel recover from Val. She’s a breath of fresh air from the rubbish in her life.

Together they build a slow relationship, and while courting, they discover each other’s pasts. Angel tells Paula about Val; Paula shares her family issues and being closeted. They attempt to help one another through their pain, all the while falling in love. The two are inseparable, or so it seems.

As love arrives, it soon vanishes. Paula is called away for a family emergency back home, and she disappears from Angel’s life. Paula cuts all ties and communication with Angel, leaving her devastated. At first Angel doesn’t know what to do with herself. But, through her solitude, Angel learns to depend on herself and look within for happiness. She becomes stronger in Paula’s absence and a better person. It took losing someone to discover all the love she needed was within herself.

Brown created a believable read with A Deeper Love that surprises you on many levels. It portrayed the discovery of new love, as well as the heartbreak of losing it–and all of it changes you for the better. By the end, Angel unearths a deeper love, and is ready to give herself fully to a worthy woman.

Reviewed September 2005